How many times do I have to die? How many times do I have to be born again? How many times do I have to be punished for the others sins? How many times do I need to feel the pain that doesnt belong to me?

I made a lot of mistakes put I payed each one of them in each year of my whole life. Till my birth were difficult, till my childhood was painful, my teen age was something that I never could understand, and as an adult I still feel the hits on my back every single day.

When I feel the breeze of happiness I start fearing because I know it lasts just a little bit.

Why give me to the other humans like to give meat to the beasts? I dont understand why it is happening to me. Will I get this pain till I die again without understand once more? Im just a human, not a divine creature.

If there is nothing you can do God, please, just keep me sane. So, one day I can find the meaning for all this.