i remember..in 13 august i posted at the first time in my blog..but everything begun in july..2004..and i was still looking for a good story..

since i was so young i thought to be an architet or a writer..i was always drawing plans of houses, apartments, or imagining a condominium in Buzios - a so beautiful place here with so wonderful 23 beaches. i already created a name to this condominium that would be like a city..Sunset City..or something like that..but "write" for me it was ever a passion..words are so powerful!! u can save or destroy someone with words..

i wrote abt many things..emotions..feelings..places..travels i did..people i know..unknown people..angels and daimons..nature fources..personages from mitology..from history..and love letters for friends who wanted to impress someone..hehhee

i dont know when or if ill finish my book..anyway for a while im making friends...

at the beggining here i started writing in portuguese just for me..and i traveled a lot in my mind..remembering my life or writing abt my experiences in these days..

i remembered all my happy days..i remembered when my doughter borned..it was an incredible feeling!!..i couldnt believe that the baby i carried inside me now was in my hands!! ;)..and my lil boy..so hairy and fatty!! :)..nights without sleep..well..moms dont sleep..they just take care abt their sons sleep..

my quick thoughts doesnt allow me to catch them..i c my life in a quick motion..i remember all these afternoons with my friends and family around the swiming pool..my motorbike..my horse scooby..me walking in the rain..travelling by train with a bag in my back in europe..friends i did..friends ill never met..friends i hav..me working in spain..me looking to the stars and thinking how could be life outside there...me jumping from somewhere.. (i like to jump..humm..i always jump with my eyes opened..) my first kiss..my first lov..my last lov...u...just forget it baby...me alone in a hotel writing my blog waiting for a business meeting..my childhood..my mom always angry and my dad telling me stories to sleep..(how i loved him..)...climbing a mountain..feeling so cold..and running in that big accident there..the unforgetable sound of these helicopters..the relief when i took a hot coffee in a warm house..and my tears for my lost friends there..how cold can be life sometimes..it makes u grow up so fast..

in last mounths trying to get something interesting to my book i learned many things abt people and abt myself..good and no good things..and i discovered how weak i still can be..how i still could be hurted..and how i still can lov..wow..thats is the great part!! i can lov again!! but i thought i had found my treasure..i thought i could believe in that..i thought i could be happy with that..but the only one thing i got was be hurted..yes.. i went so deep..nothing for me is medium...relax..at the end everyhitng will be ok..no pain..no gain..but y do we need to learn some things in life by pain??

in these black pages theres a story of someone who ever looked for something so special..and she is still looking for that..

im a dreamer..thats y i always can be recover myself..i always believe in better days even when nobody believes that..when i close my eyes i can c how im happy..i hav a strong fource inside of me that always gets me up when i think i cant do it by myself..

do u wanna live forever?? i do..even in a blog...
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